


Te Quiero

by beckthepansy



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: A tiny bit of fluff, Angst, Berlin is sad, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 17:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20067676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckthepansy/pseuds/beckthepansy





	Te Quiero

It was a few months after Andrés had bought the monastery in Florence, Italy, and asked his friend and companion Martín if he would like to move with him and help him with the renovation project, and other, more important things that they needed to plan together.

Andrés was laying on his bed, surrounded by abandoned masterpieces, when Martín knocked on the door, creaked it open, and peeked his head in. “I’m feeling quite lonely in the big room you gave me, mind if i stay with you for a while?”, he said. He wasn’t really lonely, as he usually loves his alone time. He was just missing being near Andrés, since he was spending so much time with his brother Sergio during the last few days, going over details of the robbery they were planning; so Martín had to take care of overseeing the renovation work meanwhile. 

Andrés smiled, raised his hand and gestured softly with his fingers for Martín to come sit next to him. While walking, Martín couldn’t help but smile at the view in front of him: Andrés fits so perfectly with his surroundings; old sculptures, oil paintings, darkened photographs and countless sketches scattered around that have never lost their beauty in all the time they’ve been here, secluded from and forgotten by the rest of the world. 

He was wearing his satin burgundy robe, patterned with tiny repetitions of flowers and leaves, covering every inch of the fabric. Martín sat down on the edge of the bed, his back to Andrés. He felt that familiar lump in his chest forming, it happens every time he’s with Andrés. A pained expression crossed his face, he always felt a tinge of pain overcoming him in these situations; a reminder of his unspoken love, yearning to break free in the form of spoken words addressed to the love of his life. But he couldn’t say anything. At least not now. 

“What’s wrong?”, Andrés asked, his tone soft and concerned. He noticed the way his friend’s face hardened for a split second. Impeccable attention to detail, just like his brother. Martín turned around, meeting his worried eyes, and smiled. 

_I don’t think anyone ever cared about me as much as you do_, he thought to himself, whilst in milliseconds recalling all the hardships he’s been through in his life, before replying with a smile, “nothing, just the usual pre-bedtime thoughts.” Andrés propped himself to a sitting position, back resting on the bed frame, and patted the space next to him, signaling for Martín to sit next to him. 

Andrés put his arm over his friend’s shoulders as he sat down, bringing them closer together. “I’m really glad you’re here. I was feeling a bit lonely myself,” he said. He let out a pained sigh, one that always worried Martín whenever he heard it, because it meant that his love was stuck in his bad thoughts again. He turned to look at his face, “tell me what you’re thinking, please.” 

Andrés chuckled lightly, “you do know me better than anyone, don’t you? It’s amazing.” 

“well, i’ve known you for seven years now. You’re the only person who’s stayed with me for this long.”

“And let me tell you how much i’ve loved knowing you, hermano.”

Martín could feel the lump in his chest growing exponentially in size, he had to stop Andrés from going on, otherwise he would explode. “The feeling is mutual; but now please tell me what’s worrying you.”

Andrés let out a long sigh, with one of his little chuckles that translate to _this is so stupid and meaningless i don’t even know why i’m talking about it. _“there’s just a lot on my mind that i can’t seem to express in any form.”

“Please try, Andrés, keeping it all in isn’t good for you. We both know how that ends, and its not good.”

“You’re right…” he trailed off. He was quiet in thought for a minute, and then began.

“I just… I don’t think i can take it any longer. I put my heart into every relationship i’m in, i put my entire _life_ into it; but it just never seems to work. I don’t know why i keep trying. I’ve fallen for that trap five times, four of which it has left me broken; and it seems as though the fifth time isn’t the charm, maybe no time is the charm, maybe i’m just a hopeless son of a bitch who cannot seem to learn from his mistakes; because this, all of this falling in love business is a mistake. I should just stick to being the heartless monster everyone else seems to see me as.” 

His words were dripping with pain and bitterness, he was hurt. Martín was at a loss for words, he did not know how to respond. Andrés’s arm was still wrapped around his shoulders, his hand dangling on his chest. Martín took his hand and held it, squeezing it tightly, wishing that all the love he feels for him would just somehow magically pass through their hands’ embrace and into Andrés’s body. 

They stayed in silence, Andrés’s hand in Martín’s, his thumb gently stroking the other man’s forehand, hoping it would calm him down. 

“What did Tatiana do?” Martín said after a few minutes, breaking the silence with his voice; which quivered at the end of the sentence despite his every attempt to control his tone and let it show his worry without letting any unwanted emotions pass through. It always finds a way to escape, though. Especially when Andrés is in a vulnerable state, Martín’s love overcomes him with strength, and it escapes in the slightest shake or quiver of his voice. “Did she leave you?”

“No, but I know she’s planning to, and I just cannot seem to make out why. She just does not love me anymore, I can feel it. That’s the only thing i’ve learned from my past four mistakes, seeing the signs of someone falling out of love with me.” He scoffed before continuing, “that is if they ever were in love with me in the first place.” 

Martín knows that there is still more for Andrés to say, he just wrapped his free arm around his shoulder and brought his head to his chest. Andrés didn’t seem to mind, in fact he reached out his other arm to hug Martín, their hands still locked but now their bodies embracing as well. 

“what hurts the most is that, every single time, i have to witness it. I have to stand there, still as in love with each and every one of them as i ever was, and watch them as they slowly take back everything they gave me and leave. I stand there filled with love that I don’t know who to give, and all the pain that comes afterwards just drains it all until i’m left empty.” Andrés paused, taking a deep breath and exhaling it as slowly as he could. 

“And what scares me the most is that, maybe I really am just going to lose this side of myself, and i’ll just fully turn into what everyone else thinks i am. I- i just don’t want it to happen, I don’t want to change.”

Martín held Andrés strongly now, letting go of his hand to embrace him, and burying him into his own chest. _Oh god, how i wish i could tell you, _he thought to himself. But this wasn’t the right time. Will there ever be a right time? “Andrês, I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but please listen to me when I say this: you are not, and will never ever be what those people say about you.”

People called Andrés a psychopath, or a sociopath or whatever you want to call it. A robot with no feelings, a heartless beast, a monster. They called Martín those names too.But how can someone who loves this deeply be accused of lacking empathy? How could they call someone who is willing to give his heart out to his partner a heartless monster? Martín did not know a single soul who felt as deeply as Andrés did. Not a single soul. 

Martín let go of Andrés and went to bring him a glass of water from the jug on the dresser. Before going back to him, he went over to the record player, searching through the dusty collection for a Debussy record. _Debussy always calms him. _He found it, took it out of its sleeve, and placed it on the turntable, lowering the needle and turning up the volume just enough for it to be playing softly in the background. The needle scratched the record, producing that timeless hum preceding the beginning of the record, and then Claire De Lune started playing. He picked up the glass of water and turned back to Andrés, smiling softly as he went to sit back next to the love of his life. Andrés’s face wore a hardened, bitter expression before; but it immediately began to soften as he listened to the notes of Debussy’s piece being played beautifully, and saw the smile on his friend’s face as he handed him his water. 

“Drink up now,” Martín said. “You’ll be alright, I’ll make sure of it. Just get some rest for now, okay?”

“Okay,” Andrés replied, his tone exasperated from everything he’s been saying and feeling. “Do you mind… if you keep me company tonight?”

Martín’s heart sank. He had to take a deep breath to compose himself. “Y- Yes, yes of course, Andrés. I’m here, I won’t go anywhere unless you ask me to.” _That was true in more than one way, _Martín thought to himself. _I love you, i’m not going anywhere, i’m staying right by your side for as long as you want me to. There’s nowhere else i’d rather be, i’m right here, and even though you’ll never know how much I love you, it won’t matter as much as just being by your side. Te quiero, mi amor. Te quiero tanto._


End file.
